Aly Chiman
July 21, 2020
2:40 pm
News

Nitpicker’s Guide to Buffy–Undead Questions

Buffy List Undead Questions

Mortal beware, for here lie the Undead Questions of the Buffy lists! As

ever-thirsting demons, they are doomed to rise up from their graves again

and again, whenever they smell the fresh blood of newbies on the list, in

an ageless game of seduction and entrapment… Attempting to answer some

of these questions could cost you your precious time, if not your sanity.

Only Joss Whedon, the ultimate Watcher, can put many of them to the

stake, once and for all!

Note from Kerowyn:

I’ve been getting tons of mail from fanatics trying to answer these questions.

All I can offer is a warning:

Run while you can!

Nobody knows the true answers to these pernicious quandaries, certainly not me.

That’s the point.

These questions come up again and again on the lists, with no clear-cut answer.

Seems like everyone has their own opinion about the answers too.

So take a deep breath, and think of a little old temp guy named Mike Nelson, and remember this credo:

“Repeat to yourself, ‘It’s just a show, I should really just relax’.”

One last comment:

Check out these

from LizardQ.

The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the feelings of Kero…aww never mind, they’re really cool.

Cliffhanger Questions

How did Spike knock Dru out by strangling her?

Did he cut off the blood to her brain or something?

Who possessed Willow when she was doing the curse?

Was it Jenny, or the old Gypsy woman?

Could it have been Angel’s soul wanting to return?

Why did Xander lie and not tell Buffy that Willow was trying the curse again?

Is it just because he is jealous, or did he think she would fight better?

When Xander told Willow that he loved her, did he mean romantic love or platonic love?

What did the note that Buffy left for her mom say?

Will Snyder be the villain for next season?

Or maybe the Mayor?

How is Angel going to get out of hell?

I mean, he’s not dead, because Buffy didn’t stake him, or cut his head off.

Will he burn up in the fire of Hell?

Why did Angel get sucked into hell anyway?

Didn’t his blood already close the vortex?

Couldn’t Buffy have just nicked him and used his blood on the sword or something instead?

Did she really have to impale him?

Do you think she did it on purpose to be rid of him?

Technical Questions

Why was the bouncer at the Bronze counting money (in WttH, Pt 2) if Cordy said

there would be no cover that night?

How did Angel get into the mausoleum without getting burned by the sun?

Why didn’t the sunlight kill him in his room when Darla opened the blinds?

No word processing programs allow you to delete a whole file just by pressing

the “Del” key, especially without a warning.

So how come Cordy’s did?

How come Xander seems to be taking Physics and Chem at the same time?

Isn’t that impossible?

At the start of the series, Xander asks help from Willow for Trigonometry.

But later he’s studying Geometry.

How can that be?

How come the stakes sometimes dissolve along with the vampires, and sometimes not?

Why do vampires keep attacking Buffy in the graveyard when there are so many crosses

on tombstones and stuff? Doesn’t it hurt when she throws them against those things?

What happened to the rest of the kids in the pack? Aren’t they going to

need therapy or something?

How could Flutie’s death be attributed to wild dogs when the kids’

bloody fingerprints would be all over his office?

How come the hyenas ate the zoo keeper when he was now “one of them”?

How come Buffy’s age keeps changing?

I mean, she was a senior in the movie,

but now she’s a sophomore. And what’s with all those different birth dates?

If Buffy & the gang can remember their nightmares from ‘Nightmares,’ how

come the rest of the town can’t?

How did Darla get into Angel’s apartment in “Angel” while he was away? Didn’t she

need to be invited?

Why were “The Three” trying to force their way into Buffy’s house (as Buffy and Angel

desperately tried to shut the door) when Buffy had not invited them in?

How come Spike and his gang crashed into the school on Parent/Teacher night,

didn’t they need to be invited? And how come vamps can enter the library whenever

they want to without being asked?

For Marcie to be completely invisible, wouldn’t she have to be naked?

How did Marcie know which seat to sit in during the classroom scene at the

end of Invisible Girl? How could she be sure she wasn’t sitting in some other

student’s lap? And why didn’t the cushion depress when she sat down?

How did Giles know Angel’s phone number in Prophecy Girl?

How did Xander know where Angel lived in Prophecy Girl?

Is Buffy a vampire after the Master bit her?

Why didn’t they take the time to train Nick to do CPR right?

Why was Buffy’s prom dress still spotless even after she fell face down in the

Master’s mud puddle in Prophecy Girl?

One of the cheerleaders in “SAR” was listed last season as a senior cheerleader in “The Witch.”

So how come she didn’t graduate?

In “WSWB” why did Buffy have on a pink shirt with her hair up, then a white tank

top with her hair down, then back to pink shirt with hair up in just in a few hours?

Who changes outfits that often?

How come Angel was panting if he doesn’t breathe?

How come Spike was seen smoking (by his car) at the start of School Hard

if vampires can’t breathe?

If Spike can suck air through a cigarette to keep it lit, why couldn’t Angel

blow air into Buffy’s lungs to revive her in Prophecy Girl?

If Sunnydale is really just a “one-Starbucks town” then how come they have two high

schools, a college (with frats), a zoo, an art museum, a warehouse district, and

all that other stuff?

How come Ted took Buffy’s family to play miniature golf in “Ted,” when Willow

said there were no miniature golf courses in Sunnydale (at the end of WSWB)?

In Passion, how did Angel get into Giles’ house without being invited?

Vampires and Monsters

What are incubi and succubi?

Luke said that l can’t hurt him.

What does this mean?

I thought Darla was a really cool vampire, will she be back?

If Dr. Gregory got his head bitten off, and there are eggs in his closet, does

that mean he was a virgin?

When Moloch was electrocuted, was he destroyed?

Didn’t it seem like Xander was the head of the hyenas? Why did the hyenas

choose him to be the “leader of the pack”?

How will Buffy and Willow ever trust Xander again after what he did in the Pack?

How long was the Master trapped?

How come the Master gained so much power and Buffy collapsed when it seemed like

he barely just sipped her blood in “Prophecy Girl”?

Hey, wasn’t that the anointed boy’s little bloody hand print on the TV set

in Prophecy Girl?

Is he really a vampire?

Why did all the vampires leave after the Master got killed?

Wouldn’t it be cool if they had a (fill in the blank) as a monster next season?

Is it Drusilla, Druscilla, or Drucilla? And Ampata, Impata, or Empada?

Does Giles’ nickname “Ripper” mean he is Jack the Ripper, maybe a

reincarnated version?

Isn’t the “Order of Taraka” supposed to keep sending new assassins until the job

is done? So why does that threat seem to end after WML-2?

Did any of the kids or townspeople permanently die in Ethan’s Halloween trick?

Was it Ford who popped up out of the grave at the end of “Lie to Me” or some other random vamp? If it was Ford, why would Spike have kept his word to him?

If it came to a fight between evil Angel and Oz in werewolf form, who would win?

Why don’t the vampires on the show follow the rules clearly established in (name of other popular vampire genre)?

Is there one big demon essence that fills newly created vampires, or are they individual demons, or is it like a viral infection of some kind?

Would bullets soaked in holy water kill a vampire?

How much wood do you need to stake a vampire?

Would a toothpick do it?

If you live in your car, will it keep vampires out (unless you invite them

in)? What if you live in a cardboard box?

What about Faith’s motel room?

How come the vampires just came right in?

Do you think maybe the manager invited them in the lobby, and that’s enough?

Wasn’t Xander afraid of sleeping outside in the Christmas episode?

What if he had a tent, would that have been enough?

If you invited one vampire into a house, could he invite his frinds in?

If you became a vampire would you need to be invited back into your own home?

What if a person wielding a cross isn’t Christian, will it still work? What

if the vampire weren’t Christian?

Will icons from other religions work too?

How about a fish–that’s got strong Christian symbolism.

Maybe a Native American could use cornmeal.

Or could Willow use a menorah or a Star of David?

Would wooden bullets kill a vampire?

Aren’t they illegal?

Wouldn’t they burn up if you tried to fire them out of a gun?

Or could you use petrified wood?

Or would it not work because there’s no wood left, only rock?

Can Buffyverse vampires get sick? What if they bite someone with AIDS?

Does a Buffyverse vampire’s blood circulate since they are already dead?

If so, how come they bleed?

Do they have a heartbeat?

Would Angel actually be able to perform if they really did have a “Very Special Buffy” episode?

Do female vamps menstruate? Can they conceive?

Because Angel walked around town during the snowstorm, does that mean vampires can go out on cloudy days?

Why didn’t all the other vampires come out and mob the town?

Can vampires cut/color their hair?

What about Spike?

Is he naturally platinum or does he have to dye it?

Wouldn’t Angel cast a reflection now that he has his soul back?

Does Angel need to shave?

Will Angel ever turn human again?

Angel didn’t snoop in Buffy’s diary. And he relied on Giles to interpret the Codex.

Is it possible that Angel can’t read?

How did Angel get the Codex for Giles? Was he the one who “misplaced”

it centuries ago?

Where does Angel get the money to pay for his apartment, clothes, electricity,

bedsheets, and artwork, and stuff?

Angel can always be found near the Bronze. You think he lives there? Does he maybe

own the place?

Why is Angel wearing a maroon shirt in “WSWB”? Does he think he’s a human

now or something?

What’s up with Angel’s tacky khaki windbreaker and white socks in “SAR”? Will someone please cut up that boy’s Sears card? Where are his black jackets?

Why is Angel such a wimp lately?

How does Angel get his clothes, hitting the malls after sundown, mail order?

Is Angel really naturally cold, or was Ford just being mean? Wouldn’t it be icky

for Buffy to snuggle with an ice-cold guy? Would a hot shower warm him up?

Is the Eyghon demon still inside Angel or did it cancel out with his demon?

If the two demons cancelled out, shouldn’t Angel be dust now?

Does Angel go wild when it’s “that time of the month” for Buffy?

Should Buffy be mad at Angel now that he is doing evil things?

Isn’t he the victim here?

Is the “Angel” spinoff starting in the fall?

Isn’t DB signed to do “Buffy” for another year?

I heard Cordelia is going to be a star on “Angel”!

Does this mean she won’t be on “Buffy” any more?

Who’s going to be on “Angel”?

Will Faith go to LA with Angel?

Who made Spike into a vampire, Angel or Dru?

Spike says that Angel is his “sire”.

Does that mean Angel made him, or did he just teach him?

What the heck is a sire anyway?

Why doesn’t Spike just arm his gang with automatic weapons, hide outside of Buffy’s

house at night, and then shoot her as she comes or goes?

Why doesn’t Spike burn or bomb Buffy’s house while she’s asleep?

How come Spike has killed two other slayers, but he can’t kill Buffy?

Did Spike make those other two slayers into vampires? Would a converted

slayer be stronger than the average vamp?

Was Drusilla one of those slayers?

How could Angel have attacked Dru in her convent, without an invitation, and with

crosses everywhere? Isn’t that God’s “home”?

Why would the nuns have allowed a mad woman to take vows as a nun?

Is Dru crazy because she is a nun, trapped in a vampire’s body?

Does Dru have a feeding disorder? Is she anorexic?

If a vampire casts no reflection, how does Giles have a picture of Dru?

Don’t cameras use mirrors to take a picture?

Could it be a drawing instead?

Where did he get it?

Who is “Billy Idol,” and why do people keep bringing him up whenever we have a

discussion about Spike?

What kind of car was Spike driving in School Hard?

Since we saw Dru going to Confession in the flashback, does that mean she is Catholic?

Do Anglicans have Confession?

If she was going to be a nun, doesn’t that mean she had to be Catholic?

Slayers and Slayerettes

Why does the new logo say only “Buffy”? Is she going to stop slaying

vampires? Is it just going to be some stupid love show or something?

Why isn’t the TV series just like the movie? What happened to Pike?

Has Buffy had any other watchers besides Giles? If Merrick never existed in the Buffy TV series, then who trained Buffy to be a Slayer at her old school?

How come the Watcher they showed in Buffy’s flashback looked nothing like Merrick?

What happened to him anyway?

What’s the right possessive form for the Watcher’s name, Giles’ or Giles’s ?

When is (Buffy/Xander/Willow/Giles/Angel)’s birthday?

How come we never see any of Xander, Willow, or Cordelia’s family members?

Why are we supposed to accept that Willow and Ms. are such great hackers?

When do we get to see them actually doing any real hacking?

Is Willow going to be the next Watcher, or does it have to be genetic?

Why didn’t Buffy sense that Angel was a vampire when she first met him?

Why does Angel tell Buffy he thought she would be taller?

Hasn’t he been watching her since she became the Slayer?

Buffy rushes down to stop Thomas the vampire when she realizes it’s Willow he’s hitting on.

So if it was someone else, she would have let it go?

How come Buffy couldn’t tell Sheila had become a vampire?

Why didn’t Buffy kill Spike outside the Bronze when she first met him?

Why was Buffy acting so slutty in WSWB?

Why is Buffy losing so many fights lately? Is this her “new” image?

If Buffy is so strong, why couldn’t she just snap that rope in “The Dark Age?”

If a slayer survives long enough, can she retire?

How long is a generation anyway?

What are the ages of the cast members on the show? (not so clear cut).

What other shows have they been on?

Where can I write to them?

Does anyone have Sarah Michelle Gellar’s home address or phone number?

(Hey, I swear that I’m not a stalker!).

How do you pronounce Sarah’s last name, is it “GELL-er” or “gell-AR”?

I heard Sarah is anorexic.

Is that true?

Why would these people be so mean and lie about it?

I’ve heard that people know what Sarah’s/Aly’s/Nick’s/etc. screen names on AOL are.

Is this for real?

Are there any websites with pictures of the Buffy cast on them?

I heard that Xander is going to DIE!!!!!!

Can this be true??????

How can you not like Willow/Angel/Oz/Jenny?

What kind of car was Giles driving in NKABOTFD?

What kind of car was Cordy driving in Prophecy Girl?

In describing Buffy’s seductive dance with Xander, does Angel say “mated with” or “made it with”?

How did Kendra’s parents know she was a slayer?

Would she have gotten too old to be the slayer if Buffy hadn’t died?

Where was Spike/Cordelia/Faith/Oz in this episode???

He/she is my favorite character!!!!

Do you think they want to fire him/her/it?

I heard Nicholas Brendon has a twin!

Do you think Kelly will be in any of the episodes?

Wouldn’t it be cool if they had an “evil twin” episode?

What would happen if Buffy ended up paralyzed or in a coma?

Does Giles have the power to kill her and activate a new slayer?

Or would all the vampires gang up on her and kill her when she couldn’t fight back?

Or would they not want to kill her and go on living slayer-free?

Outdated Questions

Wouldn’t it be cool if they had a werewolf as a monster next season?

Does Xander know how Willow feels about him?

In Prophecy Girl, the Master’s bones were left after he was staked.

Does anyone think he’ll come back next season?

If a slayer is killed, is there another one ready to go?

Or do they have to

wait for someone to grow up?

By then, wouldn’t it be too late?

Can a vampire’s invitation to enter a house be withdrawn?

Why are people so certain that Willow is Jewish? Couldn’t “Rosenberg” also just mean

her family is German?

Wouldn’t Giles and Ms. make a cute couple?

Why doesn’t Buffy ever have any bruises after all her fighting?

Are they really moving the show to Tuesdays?!

If Buffy has sex, will she lose her slayer powers?

If Angel and Buffy ever got married, you think they could have a baby?

You figure that Dru was the Romany girl Angel killed, thus causing his curse?

Was Buffy’s mom a slayer too?

Why doesn’t Buffy tell her mom she’s the Slayer?

Did Angel really drink that cappuccino Cordy brought him? Can Buffyverse vampires

safely consume anything but blood?

Does Cordy know that Angel is a vampire?

How did Angel know that Buffy was the Slayer?

Why did Buffy run away?

Where is she going?

Will more people die in Sunnydale because she is gone?

What will happen now that Kendra is dead?

Will another slayer be called?

Is Buffy really expelled now?

Doesn’t Snyder have to have a good reason, or do paperwork, or something?

Where is Spike going now?

Are he and Dru leaving the show?

Won’t Dru be really mad at Spike for kidnapping her?

Do you think Spike will come back to Buffy’s house now that she invited him in?

Is it true they never made Christmas episode because the themes in Buffy are

very demonic and un-Christian?

Romance

Since Buffy seemed shocked that Xander was a virgin in “Teacher’s Pet,” doesn’t this

suggest that she is not a virgin?

Can Cordy still be a virgin after hanging out in cars in graveyards with guys

like Kevin and stuff?

I’m new to the list and I just want to ask, is Angel gorgeous or what?!!!!

Who’s hotter, Angel or Xander?

Who loves Buffy more?

Who’s braver?

Was Angel originally intended to be a mysterious guardian angel (in WttH), but then

they decided to create a gothic romance angle by making him a vampire and Buffy’s

boyfriend to improve ratings?

Buffy and Xander (in the shadows) were the only two people on the first-season WB Buffy

poster. You figure Xander was originally supposed to be her dark love-interest, not Angel?

Was Buffy really coming onto Xander with her sexy WSWB dance, or just being

deliberately cruel and teasing him?

Did Xander really enjoy the dance, or was he mostly confused and bothered?

Is Ethan gay? You think that he and Giles were ever lovers?

Isn’t Angel too old (or too dead) for Buffy?

Isn’t Giles too old (or too fatherly) for Buffy?

How come you people think it’s so sick for Buffy and Giles to be together because of their age difference, but it’s OK for her to be with Angel even though he’s 200 years older than Giles?

Don’t you think that Xander and Buffy should get together?

I heard a spoiler that they will–I can’t believe it!

I love/hate Joss for doing that!

Will Oz’s affection for Willow force Xander to take her more seriously in the

romance department?

Is Willow really going to bear Angel’s child?

Do you think Giles and Joyce “did it” in “Band Candy”?

How will Buffy feel about Giles being her new dad?